“We’re going to need more lockdown drills after this,” Bai Kergman said.

MIHS Administrators this week announced they will buy Yondr-branded duct tape to prevent students from speaking during school hours.

MIHS plans to spend more than $200,000 on the tape, so they will submit a request to the Mercer Island School District (MISD) for a budget expansion in order to pay for it. The tape will be purchased in bulk on Monday, April 7. Because of this new policy, which has been dubbed the “These Kids Talk Too Much in Class Act,” the school requires a new type of staff members called “enforcers”.

Enforcers will be MIHS staff members whose jobs are to yell at students in the hallway if they don’t have at least 6 inches of length and 2 inches of width worth of duct tape on their mouth at all times during school hours, or while students are on campus.

“I think this new policy will really make students listen more which I feel is necessary for learning. First we fixed the phone problem with pouches, now tape will fix these loudy ahh students.” History teacher Mr.Sretep said.

The “These Kids Talk Too Much in Class Act” states “There will be a four-strike system put in place for any violations to this act. For the first violation, an enforcer will give you a stern warning and tell you to never let this happen again. For the second violation, students will be grabbed by the lips with the thumb and index finger of the designated enforcer who spotted the breach and walked to the principal’s office. For the third violation, they will be given an option of either getting a B+ in their Privett class or being forced to create a new password in Qmlativ every time they want to check their grades. The fourth and final violation will result in suspension and obligatory parking at Homestead Park for the remainder of the year.