The Student News Site of Mercer Island High School

The MIHS Islander

The Student News Site of Mercer Island High School

The MIHS Islander

The Student News Site of Mercer Island High School

The MIHS Islander

Nikos Nook: Entry #1
Niko's Nook: Entry #1
December 5, 2023

MIHS Establishes New Tradition: Senior Crime

The van that started it all.
Photo By Kyle Gerstel
The van that started it all.

Following last year’s van crashing fiasco, MIHS has officially adopted a new tradition: Senior Crime. By definition, Senior Crimes must have no purpose other than to wreak havoc, separating it from the pre-existing Mercer Island tradition of tax evasion.

As with Senior Pranks, Senior Crime participants will spend their time scheming elaborate spectacles and subsequently complaining that they didn’t have enough time to complete their homework.

After gaining national attention, it is obvious that not everyone was a fan of the inaugural Senior Crime. “I’m all for rebellion, but to be honest, this van thing was taking it too far,” stunt performer, actor, wrestler and filmmaker Johnny Knoxville said. “I hope next year’s Senior Crime is a more sophisticated combination of idiocy and illegality.”

Incoming seniors have already proposed quite a few ideas for next year’s crime, including stealing the school’s solar panels and replacing the cafeteria food with actual food. Surprisingly, MIHS staff members are in support of this new tradition.

“It takes creativity, project management skills and teamwork to put together a truly futile crime,” MIHS Associate Principal and former bad boy Nicky Mold said. “Public schools are currently working towards a future in which interdisciplinary thinking is the focus and Senior Crime is a great step in that direction.”

Note from the writers: Many teachers have stated that last year’s van-dalism shouldn’t be viewed as humorous. However, we believe that although the act was in poor taste, it is quite funny to think about the amount of thought and effort that had to be put into the consequence-heavy yet utterly pointless crime. In other words, we intend to laugh at the criminals, not with them.

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About the Contributor
Kyle Gerstel, Head of Content

Kyle Gerstel (he/him) is a junior at MIHS and this is his third year as part of The Islander. Outside of school, Kyle is the Producing Artistic Director of Penguin Productions, an intergenerational theater dedicated to producing pay-what-you-choose youth productions as well as cultivating new works by teen playwrights. He likes Love Actually and The Big Short and dislikes 13 Going on 30 and when people sneeze loudly.


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