By Ellie Gottesman
Only three months after a school shooting in Parkland, Florida left 17 people dead, high school student Dimitrios Pagourtzis, 17, allegedly opened fire on classmates with two of his father’s guns Friday at Santa Fe High School in southeastern Texas, killing nine students and one teacher and wounding 10 others.
By Joy Francke and Hannah Whobrey
With AP exam season in full swing, the pressure for students at Mercer Island to succeed grows each week. But what is it like to be the teacher during this stressful time?
Continue reading “What MIHS Teachers Want Students To Know About AP”
By Spencer Klein
We have a cartoonist on staff. His name is Teddy Fischer. One time he drew two walruses making out, and then like two minutes later he made out with two walruses (this act is known as a “blubber sandwich”). As soon as that cartoon got published I knew I had to abuse our cartoonist. So, I invented some made up position (Note to editor: Next year can we come up with a more convincing and official sounding title? I was thinking like “Lord of Laughs,” “The Jesting Journalist” or “Editor in Chief”) on the editorial board so I could have enough power to commision a cartoon.
By Spencer Klein
My articles go through an active screening process. Ideas like “Magic Johnson AIDS Prom” and “Hanukkah is responsible for 90% of house fires” are cut and left to bleed in Room 301. But every now and then, a magic gem of borderline might-make-someone-beat-me comedy slips through Twombley’s tight, suffocating fingers.
By Spencer Klein
Readers, I’m gonna get right down to brass tacks. Why did the 200 bathroom keep closing? When it closed the first time I thought “Oh this is hilarious, clearly there was some malfunction or graffiti,” and if you read “Unfounded Assumptions” from a couple months ago you can read all of my predictions as to why it was closed The First Time. When we published that article I was afraid that when the paper was distributed, the bathroom closures wouldn’t be relevant any more. But thank god that two months later the bathrooms are still being closed and my article is still relevant (Note to editor: are people still sad about Paul Walker? If not I have a hilarious idea).
Annika Bhananker & Kate Francke
Washington state lawmakers passed the Driving Under the Influence of Electronics Act on July 23, 2017. This year, the Washington Traffic Safety Commission has declared April “Distracted Driving Awareness Month,” and law enforcement agencies will be ready to nab offenders on the state’s roads.
Continue reading “New Distracted Driving Law Passes in Washington state”
By Walt McKelvie
On March 21,Washington Governor Inslee signed into law Senate Bill 5064, a bill designed to protect student newspapers from censorship by school and district administrations.
By Spencer Klein
Hello readers. Do you ever find yourself saying “Gosh, I think ‘Unfounded Assumptions’ is funny but I sure wish it was more frequently published?”
It’s the final showdown in the Integrity, Innovation, Inspiration Tournament of Champions, and 200 Hall Bathroom Closures is facing off against NextDoor Drama. Who will win this prestigious competition? Continue reading Final Matchup: The Integrity, Innovation, Inspiration Bracket of Champions
